Good morning Pastor John,
I pray you are still on the mend.
This morning while walking my dog and talking to God, I felt the tug to raise my hands. This has happened in the past, but I didn’t and didn’t really think about it, just went on my way. I didn’t at first this time, either. So I started talking to the holy Ghost (amazes me still in the past since it was my belief of the fake trinity, I just talked to or more accurately at God) asking is that You wanting me to do this or me? Silly question, since I never wanted to raise my hands in praise before I got the holy Ghost.
I got the question “Are you ashamed?” I thought no, and responded, “I don’t want to be a spectacle or stand out to my neighbors.” But at this point, I started raising my hand to God as I walked. Hesitantly at first, until I got my answer.
Then I received the question, “Isn’t that being ashamed of me?” So I thought, “I just don’t want people to think I am showing off.” After some more quibbling over the word ashamed I got “so you are bashful?” This set well with me, so I said “yes”. Immediately the response was “Isn’t that being ashamed, isn’t saying your bashful a nicer way to express shame? Are you ashamed to have the holy Ghost?”
I then thought about my new birth, and how once I gave in and allowed the holy Ghost to speak, I was in the floor awhile. I had been suppressing Him for a long time, bashful if you will, about letting Him speak. As I thought about it, I realized for the first time in my life that being bashful is a form of shame. You don’t believe what you have is good enough. Your thoughts and beliefs are not correct. So you keep them inside or express them only when it’s safe. I think the holy Ghost wants you to be bold when He says it’s appropriate!
I pray that God keeps challenging me to grow and that I am up to the task. Also that I grow the first time He wants; not just go on my merry way blowing by my opportunities.
With much love,
Mark