Wow! We loved reading this testimony, it brought tears to my eyes. And some of the details I don’t remember hearing before! What a heartfelt testimony. I love that I could feel this!
============
Good morning, Pastor John,
As I was working on my Old Testament assignments* this past week, I came across a page of my notes from February 1997, when we first took the Old Testament class with you, and my heart was overwhelmed with gratitude. It brought back sweet memories and beautiful testimonies of how Jesus brought us out of Christianity and connected our hearts to you.
Tim had met you and the Paynes in November 1995, about the time Jeremiah was born, and over the months, Tim would bring tracts, cassette series and books to read and listen to. I would see them lying on the table, but I could not yet go there to open them because I didn’t want to be disappointed again with thinking I had found the truth, only to be hurt. I was having my own time of searching for Jesus and had some very touching times with him. As August, September and October came along, Tim and I started having conversations about Christianity and how things were not right there, and we were having questions about when a person was born again. I started listening to the cassettes and reading some of the tracts. I picked up the old blue and white Revelation book, and sincerely said to Jesus, “Who is this John Clark? How does he know these things about you?” One of my favorite things during that time was hearing you sing at the beginning of the cassette series, “He’s the fragrance of heaven, the manna unleavened, the song of the songbird, how sweetly he sings…” Jesus let me love what I felt from you! That’s about the time I found myself standing in my dark bedroom one night saying to Jesus that I was willing to put all my eggs in the basket one more time! I was afraid but willing!
On December 25, 1996, Jesus clearly let us know we were done with the charismatic church we had been attending. The pastor there, without actually mentioning our names, told the whole congregation from the pulpit that there were two people among them who didn’t believe in the Trinity; he ridiculed us and mocked us. Whew! Even though it was very hurtful to go through because everybody knew it was us (because of talk that had circulated), how grateful we were that Jesus had shut the door and we knew there was no going back there. A few days later, I answered the phone (Tim was at work), and it was the assistant pastor telling me we were wrong to leave, and reminding me of what a traveling minister had said to Tim and me about a year earlier, that our place was beside our pastor. I just got quiet and asked Jesus how to respond, and all I had to say was, “Ed T. is not our pastor.” There was nothing else he could say, so we hung up.
The first or second Sunday morning of January 1997, we turned the TV on and saw Kenneth Copeland preaching. As I listened for a few minutes, I said aloud to Jesus, “Is it really true that Christianity is not from you?” and as the last syllable came from my mouth, there was a bright flash of lightning and a crash of thunder simultaneously that knocked our TV out! I will never forget turning towards Tim and feeling the fear of God. We both knew that God had just given us the answer to that heartfelt question. We sat very quietly and could not move for the longest time.
Then the third week in January, I told Tim I would go with him to the Elderwood Lane house Bible study. I had never met you before. I was very nervous and on guard because I didn’t know what to expect. I had opened my heart to folks in Christianity only to have it hurt very badly after years of trying to have real relationships and fellowship with others there. I just wanted Jesus to let me know if this was where he really wanted us to be. After the meeting was over, everybody had left except for you, Barbara, Bob, Ellen and us. Barbara and Ellen were asking me about myself, and all of a sudden, I remember these big tears starting to roll down my face, and I told them I just wanted to know what was right concerning Jesus. John, you came over and put your arm around my shoulder, spoke in tongues and prayed for me that Jesus would show me who was telling the truth. I had never, ever felt such a love from any preacher or Christian minister for me as I did from you at that moment. There was a peace that fell on me that I had never experienced in the twelve years I had had the holy Ghost. It is hard to put into words what Jesus did for me that night and what he let me feel, but the best way I can say it is that for the first time in my whole life, I felt safe spiritually and that I had found home. That was Jesus letting me know that you are a pastor after God’s own heart, and that I could trust you. Every time I remember this testimony, my heart just melts because this was the fork in the road for me, and Jesus let me choose life!! Just a few weeks later in February, you told us you were teaching an Old Testament class at ACC and that we could join in, and what a life-changing event that was for us! I remember the feeling of sitting in your class and thinking how much I loved being able to learn about the God I had always wanted to know! I still feel the same way today as I hear you teach and preach about our Jesus!
I was reading in Proverbs yesterday and I came across this verse that touched me (Prov. 18:4): “The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.”
John, Jesus has anointed you as a wellspring of wisdom to teach us the way of life in the Spirit. I am so thankful Jesus let me find you, and I want to hold on to you and Jesus the whole way home.
Love,
Bess
============
Hi Bess!
I love your testimony, Bess. It is real and pure. And I remember praying that prayer for you at my house that day so long ago now. I even remember where you were standing when I came over to you. It is a very great joy that Jesus answered our prayer and opened your heart to him and his wonderful truth. How thankful I am for the fellowship Jesus created for us!
Pastor John
* Old Testament Course (Pt. 1) – Going to Jesus.com