Hey John,
I had some wonderful thoughts and feelings yesterday evening, and I’m not sure how to say what I’m feeling here. Will you help me? I feel like something is right in front of me, but I can’t quite get a handle on it.
It happened while I was listening to your “Kings” videos on Vince’s YouTube channel, “TheSpiritIstheWitness”.* I don’t remember exactly how you said it, but it was something like, “You don’t have to figure out your place in the body. You just walk in the Spirit, and you’ll realize one day that you’ve been in your place.” And, “God doesn’t make mistakes.”
That also brought to my memory what you’ve said in meetings: “Jesus gave you the feelings you have,” and “You didn’t do this… and you can’t take credit for it,” etc.
Trying to articulate the feelings, I compared it to a job promotion I received once. When management met with me to tell me I got the job, I took them at their word. I left there with a start date, and never doubted that the job was mine, even though I hadn’t started yet. I was trained in how to do the job, and once I transferred to it, believing it happened wasn’t even a thought. I was just there. I simply obeyed and fulfilled the requirements of that role – though, early on, I felt like an imposter, as I felt unqualified.. and technically, I was.
I like how King Hezekiah acted early on, how he was so young and called those old men “sons.” He believed, learned his role, and when he saw and understood it, he was all-in.
That made me think that once God puts you somewhere, it’s done. There’s a point when you are not supposed to keep believing that He did it anymore; you just live from it and obey. When God puts me somewhere, it is no mistake. T hat’s the best place now and forever, unless God changes it. That’s simply where I am at now, and I must live that as truly as my nose has been put on my face.
And if I or someone thought it was a mistake, it’s because we’re trying to take credit for something God did, for the feelings He established in my heart. If I doubt myself or anyone, I start rebelling against God’s order in the kingdom, regardless of our position within the body.
To obey those feelings Jesus put in my heart, the desire to really, really want to love Him and His people, the desire to know the truth about the One who created all things, He put them there, not me. It’s as if my heart was birthed from those feelings, and I must dwell in that place if I’m to live in perfect love.
I have had a few very strong desires in my heart that I’ve asked the Lord to fulfill in my life. And until yesterday, I didn’t realize there was this one in there: to stop believing. I don’t mean I want to stop believing in Jesus. I mean I don’t want to keep believing that something is true after He has already done it. I want to live it, and pursue the things I cannot receive in this life.
I know I have heard all this before, but I feel like something is coming into focus that I’ve missed. I wish I could word this better but don’t know how. What am I feeling here??
Hope you are well,
-Johnny
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Hi Johnny.
I dont think you need any help expressing what you are feeling and seeing. That is so good! What you have written can hardly be improved upon. Go ahead and live that way. I wish that all of God’s children everywhere could see that what Jesus (not church religion) has done for them in the holy Ghost is perfect and that they can rest in that holy work. Seeing what you are seeing and trusting God like that will make you invaluable to the saints around you and will lead you into eternal happiness! Let’s go there together!
Pastor John
* The Kings – part 1/18 – John D. Clark, Sr.