Good morning,
It felt so good to be there and feel the reading Sunday. I felt such a relief that it surprised me. I have always wanted to see more of the power of God, but have felt bad even having that thought/prayer. I don’t know why I felt bad. I have heard you say we need to pray for more of the power of God, and still, I have apologized to Jesus at times, after asking him for more. I didn’t realize how much I do that until Sunday. I am so thankful for that message because it restored the balance for me. I think I was stuck at the just “go through it and make Jesus happy ” end. I love that Jesus will balance us out.
I have struggled with that especially praying for Natalie, wanting Jesus to give her more time here, and knowing we were never meant to stay here or seeing Jesus turn this world over, and wondering how or if to even pray. I think I got stuck and resolved to close my eyes and brace for what is coming and forgot I could pray and hope. A balance of knowing God is in control of all things and I can still talk to Him. I tried to picture having a child who just silently went through the motions; there would be a disconnect in that relationship, to not hear your child’s heart.
When I was seeking the holy Ghost and for some time after I received it, I would ask Jesus to come to visit me. I knew Sandy talked about Jesus sitting next to her on the couch, or the little handicapped girl you spoke of that said Jesus visited her, and Betty Baxter’s testimony. I would ask Jesus if he would be on my couch in the middle of the night. I would get up and go into our living room with such hope, that he would be sitting there. I can’t remember when I stopped asking Jesus to come visit me.
Sunday left me asking Jesus if he would come visit me. ❤
Beth Durham