Good morning, John.
I wanted to take the time to write down the beautiful feelings Jesus gave me during the Bible study Wednesday night. I love the way the Spirit floods like a river at times, as Jesus is washing and reminding us of what he has made us as to be as his new creations in Christ! It was so touching to hear with my heart the songs being sung and the glorious preaching and teaching Jesus sent to us!
When Gary sang his song, “Over There”, all I could think about was being willing to do whatever it takes to hold onto fellowship with Jesus and you all. Being willing to examine my heart honestly and continuing to make the changes I need to make are the things that will get me to that place with you all, Over There. The Spirit knows how to get us Over There if we will follow it.
Then Gary sang, “I Gotta Go Now”. For just a few moments, Jesus took my thoughts back to being a 9-year-old in that Baptist church I grew up in, where I had sincere questions for the pastor about speaking in tongues, and if that was for us today. He didn’t have God’s answers for me, and of course, I had never, ever heard that Christianity was not of God; I was just a young girl longing for real answers about the Jesus I had read about in Bible stories, and I thought he would have answers from Jesus for me. The pastor didn’t know anything beyond his Baptist doctrine, such as Jesus having to go away to make his sacrifice so that the Comforter could come to bring Life to truly repentant souls. Even though he was kind to me, the pastor was as ignorant as I was about Jesus. We were ignorant together in Christianity. But Jesus had a plan for me! He wanted me! My heart felt so safe as I heard those words of life in Gary’s song, remembering how Jesus had rescued me, filled me with his Spirit, and created a love for his truth in my heart!
John, I loved hearing you teach about slander and how you said, “Be wrong with Jesus and choose him over [human] rightness.“ Judas was right according to the law, but it was just a front to cover his wicked heart. He influenced the rest of the disciples by his subtle talk, making it seem that he cared more about those poor people than Jesus did. And then, when Jesus rebuked the disciples for their indignation towards him in Matthew 26:8, it revealed where each of their hearts were: Judas left and made his deal to betray Jesus, and the rest of the disciples stayed with Jesus, even though they didn’t understand him. Jesus kept working to help them be prepared for the day when his Spirit would come and fill them.
I loved how you told us that as the disciples didn’t know Jesus while he was among them. It’s the same now with God’s sincere children who are entangled in Christianity. They don’t know what they have in the holy Ghost – they don’t know him. That was an echo of what I was feeling during Gary’s song, “I Gotta Go Now”. God rescued me from the awful snare of Christianity, and He rescued me from being one of His ignorant sheep who doesn’t understand the New Birth. How big God’s love is for us that He would have us to know that the holy Ghost is proof – His personal testimony – about His Son! And to hear you say that we belonged to God from before the foundation of this world, that we were never part of this world, it brought so much comfort! With Jesus, I have a home now, where I can live without any condemnation or regrets. It is worth everything to keep my heart clear so that nothing hinders the fellowship Jesus has blessed me with, with you and this family.
Thank you for feeding us the good things Jesus gives to you. He is wanting each one of us to live!
Bess