Pastor John,
Last night you spoke about our dead relatives not looking down on us and not knowing what we are doing. I had an experience with Jesus in 2011 and he put that in my heart. It was an amazing experience and it changed me.
I had an unnatural fear of death set in on me as a child. I remember the day it happened. I can still see exactly where I was sitting that day, when an understanding came on me that we are all going to die at some point. With it came a heavy fear and I sobbed for hours that day. I carried that fear with me into adulthood. When I had my children, just the thought of leaving them here alone would bring tears and that heavy fear. I couldn’t bring myself to begin to really seek Jesus because the fear of death was so consuming.
One afternoon, after Jesus really started dealing with my heart and at the very beginning of asking him for the holy ghost, Jesus took me flying with him. I was sitting quietly talking to Jesus about things, and in a moment, I was with Jesus.
Jesus was on my right-hand side, and I could see the brightness of him, but I could not see his face. We were holding hands and flying over a large rock cliff that went over a sea. There was no color except the brightness coming off of Jesus. I would call it white, but it really was just a brightness.
As I held his hand and flew next to him, I was one with him. I understand being in him more because of this experience. We were next to each other, but we were one. I felt the most wonderful warmth coming from him.
As I flew with him, I understood that when we are with him, we do not have one thought of this world. Not one. I understood I would not be with Jesus mourning my children. They wouldn’t even be a thought. As I realized that in the air with Jesus, it brought such a peace. I still have that peace. Jesus changed my heart that day.
At the very end of that experience, Jesus showed me a large painter’s pail and inside of it were so many beautiful colors. They were all swirled next to the other, but none of them bled into each other, and I was fascinated by that. I knew that when we reached that pail, we would tip it over and all the colors would spill out and fill the earth, instead of that gray color. I looked at Jesus, and he said, “Let’s go pour some sunshine on my world!” …. Then Jerry, who had dozed off next to me, moved and Jesus dropped me. I fell straight down to where I was sitting before he took me flying.
I can still feel what it felt like to fall. It took me days to get over not being with him. Just ask my husband!! I mourned having to come back here and leave him.
Actually, I don’t think I am over it yet!
Beth D.