Dear Pastor John,
Today I remembered something that the Spirit had spoken to me some months ago, and I thought I would share it with you all.
So, some months back there was something in my life I was dealing with. It was something I desired, but deep in my spirit I felt that Jesus was not in it. So, over and over again, when I got into a situation where I had a decision to make, I decided to go with Jesus, instead of pursuing this desire. One time, while I was working, and in my heart I was pondering over these things, I thought how I was actually giving something up, because I wanted to please Jesus. I was thinking how I was paying a price, in order to have a deeper knowledge of God.
Now, as I was having these thoughts, I heard a voice (not audibly, but in my heart) saying to me: “You’re just doing what you’re supposed to do, so stop patting yourself on the back. What you’ve done should be normal, it shouldn’t even feel like a sacrifice.”
At first, this thought seemed right. I had had thoughts like this (with the same religious feeling) many times before, and even now, I could quote scriptures that would support that this is something Jesus would tell me (or someone else).
But this time, right when I was about to accept these words as coming from the Lord, I heard another voice, and when I heard it, I knew immediately that this (and not the other one) was the REAL Jesus speaking. As if replying to the previous thought, this is what the voice said:
“No. It means something to me when you give up something for my sake.”
Even now, as I am recalling this, I can feel the love and the gentleness that came with these words, and the comfort and encouragement it meant to me that moment.
Right after this, I was reminded of Peter telling Jesus: “See, we have left all and followed you!”, and how Jesus’ reply was not “As you should”, or something along those lines. Instead he was encouraging Peter, telling him: “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or parents or brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who shall not receive many times more in this present time, and in the age to come eternal life.”
I know that when we obey God, we should think of ourselves as unprofitable servants who only did what’s required of them. And even recently, I’ve been asking Jesus that he would keep transforming my heart, so that when I’m tempted to forsake the way of the Spirit and go with some desire of my flesh, it would feel less and less of a temptation, because the love, the grace, the joy of the Lord and the glory of His kingdom is so precious to my soul, that the things of this world don’t even feel attractive anymore. And I do believe (in fact, I know) that that is the place where Jesus is leading me, and all of us.
And yet… “We do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses”!
Jesus knows what it feels like to live in a body of flesh, and so, he is genuinely happy and pleased, when in certain situations (whether it’s something minor or some important decision in life) we make the right judgment, and decide to go with his spirit instead of with our old desires. It means something to him when we hold on to our faith (even if it’s just the size of a mustard seed) and, from our hearts, we do the right thing.
I hope it encourages some of you as much as it has been encouraging me in weeks and months past.
Love you all!
Zoli
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