John,
I love Margo’s heartfelt testimony of how she chose to not go down the pathway of bitterness after losing their baby. (https://pastorjohnshouse.com/mailbag/15828/trusting-god-in-all-things/) That takes trusting that Jesus is right and he is true and withholds no good thing. And I love your response to her about bitterness being a form of self-will. That felt like such an arrow hitting the bullseye for me.
Some years back, I had times when I couldn’t understand how some prayers and situations I was praying about continually went unanswered, and it led me to the brink of bitterness. I thought I was trusting Jesus, but what he taught me was that I really just wanted what I wanted when I wanted it in the situation, not God’s timing. I got tired of hurting. I got so focused on how my prayers were unanswered that I almost missed the everyday sweet things Jesus was doing for me to encourage me to hold on. I got shortsighted and was tired of suffering through things instead of really understanding that if he had given me what I wanted when I wanted it, I would not have learned the lesson of waiting in patience for the best outcome – that there was a purpose from God for my unanswered prayer. I remember right where I was when He finally got that through to me, and what sweet relief it brought and it changed me. The waiting had served its purpose. Jesus was patient with me as I learned and overcame my carnal mind by choosing to trust and wait. He answered those prayers in a way that let his lessons stick with me. I wanted what He wanted more than what I thought I wanted.
After I learned my lesson, I could say from my whole heart when faced with fiery tests and trials, “I trust you, Jesus, and I know you have my answers and relief, and I will wait on you. You are working on my behalf.”
I’m so thankful Jesus has helped us learn to desire his way and timing that leads to peace, instead of pushing to have things our way, which leads to regrets. There is a way to press in for answers and do things God’s way so that wonderful testimonies come forth. We may not understand what He is doing at times, and I tell Him that I don’t understand sometimes, but I trust Him because I know His heart towards me.
Bitterness is a form of self-will. What a wonderful word of wisdom to hold tightly to as we live our lives.
With much love,
Bess