Hi Pastor John!
Jesus showed my heart something this week that I really want to share.
I was flipping through the radio stations in my car. I had decided to just turn it off when a preacher came on saying, “We are His bride, we are the bride of Christ”. I turned the station off but I was thinking about what that really means. All of a sudden Jesus showed my heart a picture. I saw a dirty young woman in rags. She was filthy and just really dirty. Then I saw Jesus come to this dirty young girl and take her hand. I had such a feeling of awe come over me. I said, “Jesus you come for us when we are filthy dirty and full of sin, and you come to us to marry us. How can you want to marry us when we are so wretched”.
I kind of marinated on this a day or two and today Jesus gave me more! I just had a whole understanding from Jesus.
Jesus comes when we are dirty and broken. When we are undesirable to everyone, even those who claim to love us. Then Jesus purifies us, bathes us in rich oils and the purest of love. This took my breath away. This didn’t just happen in the days of kings, this happens today. This is exactly what Jesus did for me and really all of us. Jesus bathes us in heavenly oils, removing a stain here and a blemish there, teaching us about Him and the Father, holiness and goodness, until we are clean and ready. Whew! I feel broken under His love. I feel like whatever junk wouldn’t fit into that door to get to Jesus, is just a broken mush. That might not sound good but oh it feels so wonderful!
Then Jesus showed me that is what He did for me. When Jerry and I re-connected, I was a complete mess. I had numerous addictions. I was tired and hopeless. Everything in Jerry should have ran…but God. Jerry has said that he wanted to run many many times, but that God made him stand still even if it was going to hurt. As God has removed this stain and that stain from me, Jesus put it in Jerry’s heart to love me, nurture me and teach me about God. One of my stains has been to not really believe that God really loves me. I fight thoughts like, “God doesn’t really love you. You’re not clean enough or sweet enough. You’re not growing quick enough.” When Jesus showed this to my heart, it was like He just scrubbed more of that stain away. Amen!!! I feel so loved! I am amazed that God has shown all of this. Kings purifying their wives, rituals that are symbols of Jesus and the truth. We have everything we need to know Him when the Spirit comes. Isn’t that amazing pastor John?
I feel like I need to marinate a while longer. I have huge waves of understanding coming that Jesus is showing me His love. It’s like ALMOST understanding! Praise God! Praise God.
Beth
( I really wanted this to come out clear and full of the feelings Jesus is giving me but its hard to put into words.)