Dear Pastor John,
I would like to share an experience I had during work last night (as I’ve been working in the night shift this week).
Just to provide some background, at the end of each workday the chief operators (or group leaders) look at the performance of each operator working under them, and the ones that performed well that day get a chocolate bar. To achieve that, your line of machines cannot produce any avoidable scrap tires + the total “indefinite non-operation” of your line has to be under 20 minutes – that is the amount of time your machines are allowed to be out of operation AND without a “status” given – which informs our superiors (and maintenance) the reason why the machine is not curing.
Whether you can reach that goal depends on a number of circumstances that are beyond your control, still, even if you feel like you did your best, but you end up missing the target, it’s easy to feel like you’ve failed that day.
Well, last night I was put on one of the “easier” lines, one that normally doesn’t have a lot of issues, so I was hoping it was gonna be one of the “chocolate bar days” for me. And fair enough, the shift started out almost perfectly: I finished with “coating” (the least pleasant and most troublesome part our job) in less than an hour, which happens very rarely to me; and the “indefinite non-operation” during that hour was close to zero. I was thanking God for blessing me, but then, as time went by, things started coming up that caused some of my machines to stop more often than desirable.
To make a long story short, about three hours before the end of the shift I checked on the computer, and realized that my line, by that time, already had 23 minutes of non-operation without status. What made the situation really disheartening was not the fact that I wasn’t gonna reach the target, but that after such a good start I wasn’t even gonna be close. I got frustrated, and as I was walking back to my line, I started feeling some bitterness, and thinking how unjustly I’ve been treated by life.
“But I was doing such a good job…”, I thought, and that moment Jesus very clearly spoke to me: “It was by my grace.”
I immediately knew Jesus was telling me that the smooth operation of the first couple of hours was a gift from him, and just as I received that with thanksgiving, I should trust him even now and know that he hasn’t changed; only my attitude did. The mere fact that I realized that this thought came from Jesus changed something inside of me, and the prayer that came out of my heart was, “God, I don’t want to feel like this,” that is, I don’t want to feel bitter and dissatisfied only because things don’t go my way.
And, Pastor John, I was so thankful that moment that this was the prayer of my heart because I knew it was something Jesus had done in me. And the thought that immediately followed this prayer was this: “Your feelings are your life.” In other words, the quality of your life is not determined by the things you own or the earthly successes you achieve, but how you feel inside – regardless of the circumstances. If you have joy and peace with God, you have a good life, and you are a happy person. If you don’t have the joy of communion with Jesus and you don’t feel at peace with God the Creator, you can be the most successful person by earthly standards, and you still don’t know LIFE, as it is meant to be.
Pastor John, as I was standing there, facing the machine line, with my back leaning on a pallet of tires, I started tearing up as these thoughts were flooding my heart. “Wow!” I thought, “This is the ‘life abundant’ that Jesus died for us to have!” Knowing the joy and the peace of God, and understanding what you received when you received the holy Ghost is LIFE! It cannot get better than this!
Knowing that how I feel is how I REALLY live, is something that, I guess, I have always known, but it is completely different when Jesus reveals it to you. That is real knowledge! It is now written on your heart and it’s yours!
Pastor John, we are a blessed people. The grace that we’ve been given is truly unfathomable. And it should make us more humble, and make us walk worthy of our calling.
Zoli
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