Good morning Pastor John,
I got called in to work for an anesthesia machine failure this morning and had a couple of experiences I want to share with you. I will start with the second first.
As I was leaving one of the techs that clean equipment was telling me her mother was in the hospital. While she was telling the story, I started to tell her I would pray for her mother. But before I could even draw the breath to start I heard/felt, “Don’t do it.” As she continued talking, I thought about this but the feeling was still there and growing so I didn’t say it. I have always just popped off with “I will pray for you/them”, so this feeling makes me wonder. First, is that a right feeling? As I thought about it, I felt, “You don’t know her or her mother, nor how they live. Maybe she’s where God wants her.” Then, “You don’t just pray for people, things, situations just because you or someone else doesn’t like them.” I am not sure what to make of this. As I said, I would always pray, never even considering whether it might be wrong to pray. Please help!?
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That is a great lesson, Mark. Thank you for sharing it. I think some good people can fall into a rut, saying by habit that they are praying, or will pray, but they are not. Not really. I see it all the time.
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Now to the first experience. As I was waiting on the surgery to be completed, I didn’t want to waste the time, so I read one of the Father and Son messages. I was in a darkened office alone reading it. As I got to the last page, I had a strong feeling of the spirits at the cross. I closed my eyes and could see a cross with a man (whom I knew was Jesus) hung on it, dark sky, feeling doom, people on my right were partying, people on my left, up the hill a bit, were in great sorrow, and the feeling of a great storm about to erupt was in the air. My heart was about to burst from the sorrow. I felt like my heart was growing. I fell to my knees and put my face to the ground in my heart (don’t know any better way to say it). Tears were welling up in my heart. There was such a wide range of emotions and behaviors from the people on that hillside! I am not doing this justice at all. I still want to cry when I think about it. I felt him look down at me. Then, someone walked by here and I “came to”.
While reflecting on it a few minutes later, I was not sure what to think. I don’t know what purpose this is to serve. So I hesitate to even write this to you, but the feelings I got reading the message are so real. The memory of this daydream was so strong I don’t want to withhold something I should share. So I will leave this to you to discern, and may God help me be a faithful and true servant, not a storyteller. I don’t think my imagination is that good, as I wasn’t even thinking of the cross. But the very next lines I read were, “It was not Jesus’ death, but God’s acceptance of his sacrifice that made eternal life available to man.” I tried to put this down and not send it, but it is all I can think about so you have it now!
Mark W.
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That is a wonderful experience, Mark. The only thing that would make it better is if you were here in person telling it! Thank you again.
Pastor John
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